This Valentine’s Day give your relationship the gift of healing. Many times, we fall susceptible to the societal conditioning that surrounds us during Valentines day; we look forward to receiving red roses, a box of chocolates, and a romantic dinner. Some of us may have higher expectations regarding our partner’s romantic gestures and the ability to provide us with the love we need. After all, it is Valentine’s Day and we should feel romantically special on this day. However, there may be times when these expectations and desires are not met, resulting in relationship distress. Valentin’s Day can have the ability to cause relationship tension and conflict to resurface. Choose to heal your relationship so that you can stay connected and feel the romance throughout the year so when the next Valentine’s Day comes, you will embrace the romance you desire.
- Make healing your relationship a common goal.
It is easier to work on the small wounds in your relationship when they whisper, then it is when they scream. Take the small tensions and conflicts seriously and choose to communicate them to each other. Bringing what needs to be resolved to each other`s attention, while actively telling them that they matter and care, can be the first step towards healing. Once you both agree that you both want to work on your relationship, you can take the steps to reach this common goal.
- Discover your love language.
Being aware of what your love language is, as well as that of your partners, is pivotal in giving and receiving the love that you each need. Gary Chapman, PhD- a #1 new Yorks seller and writer, discovered that there are five love languages in regards to human relationships. The love languages are words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, quality time, and physical touch. You can identify what your love language is by reading the book the Five love languages or taking a love language quiz online. Therapy can also be a good way for you to discover your love language.
So, if you believe that you are most connected with your partner and feel most loved while you are spending quality time together or while cuddling, you will then have the ability to tell him that your love language is quality time and touch. He can then make efforts to put more focus on engaging you through your love language and you can do the same. For example, if you notice that his love language is acts of service you can spend your time preparing to cook him dinner or give him a massage. By knowing your partners’ love language, you can improve the quality of your relationship and make the moments spent together more enjoyable.
- Attend Couples Therapy- Attending a few therapy sessions with a trained therapist can help you heal your relationship. The Heart Connection Center in Boca Raton, FL, has a dedicated team of therapists that are trained in helping you explore the patterns and dynamics embedded in your relationship distress and help you break through them. We hope to help you and your partner feel more positive about yourself and your partner, improve your communication, enjoy your time together, solve problems more effectively, and build and strengthen trust.
Let us be a part of creating a shared vision for your future together. If you would like to schedule an appointment, please call me at 561 660 1692 or send a message here.
Dr. Yiolanta Sofiali-Brunvert, LMHC, Ph.D
