How do you deal with your uncomfortable emotions? There are no two ways about it. We all dislike uncomfortable emotions. Experiencing these emotions is a natural part of life. Learning to sit with them and become comfortable with them is an important skill to practice and learn.
Anxiety, sadness, shame, embarrassment and anger are difficult emotions that we experience as we navigate through life.
Everyone deals with their uncomfortable emotions differently. Of course, we all want to avoid pain. And instead of making proactive choices for our happiness, we react to things that happen and fight or flee to minimize pain. Perhaps you have stayed in a bad relationship for way too long to avoid being alone or avoid confrontation. Or you stay in a job that is miserable and endure the stress of it instead of the facing the situation of having to make a change.
People cope with their emotions in different ways. Emotional eating, drinking alcohol, crying, raging in anger are all unhealthy ways to cope with emotions that we try to avoid. It makes sense. No one wants to feel bad. No one wants to suffer emotional pain but if you don’t deal with your emotions, they will come back and deal with you in these unhealthy ways. By that I mean, these uncomfortable feelings could turn into anxiety, depression, or panic attacks.
Learning to sit with your pain and go through it is the key. Being able to get vulnerable and let yourself feel these feelings will help you in the long run and help you make those choices you need to be happy. As a counselor in Boca Raton, I work with clients helping them learn to identify their feelings and express them in a healthy way. It’s okay to get vulnerable. It’s okay to express your sadness, hurt, shame, and anger. Getting them out of your body and sharing them will help you feel better.
Here are 3 ways to learn to sit with your uncomfortable emotions:
- Identify the feeling and why you are feeling that way.
It’s important to recognize why you are upset, angry, sad or in shame. See if you can feel it in your body. Where do you feel it? What would those feelings say if they could talk?
Once you know what you are feeling and why, you can ask yourself. Is what you are thinking and feeling true? What is proof for your thought? Are there any other possibilities to this situation? What would you tell a friend if they were feeling this way?
You can choose to interpret the situation in a different way, soothe yourself and feel something different.
- Learn to sit with feelings.
Maybe you don’t know why you are upset or sad. This is okay too. Sometimes we can feel sad for no reason. In this case, you can see the sadness for what it is: just a passing state of mind, like a temporary fever. No need to fight it. Just take care of yourself and rest. This will not be a permanent state. Moods change like the weather. Tell yourself it will pass.
- Meditations and Mantras:
By practicing meditation, you can create a calm inner space. Doing so, will help you deal with these difficult emotions when they arise. There are plenty of apps like the Calm app, that can teach you how to meditate.
Mantras are sayings you can tell yourself when you are dealing with difficult emotions, it is important to self-soothe and give yourself love and care during this time. You can tell yourself, “You are okay,” “You are not alone,” “This will pass,” and “You are safe and loved.”
In conclusion, negative feelings are a part of life. They are only negative if they happen too often and are enduring. You won’t feel this sad forever, it will pass. By learning to sit with uncomfortable emotions, you can feel better quicker. Being mindful and learning to deal with your emotions takes time and practice. Be kind and compassionate with yourself.
If you practice these three steps, or are feeling sadness and anxiety for more than 2 weeks, the therapists at the Heart Connection Center in Boca Raton, can help you feel better. Please don’t hesitate to call us at 561-203-9280.